On sharing openly: I’m not running for Congress

I’m not running for congress.

That’s Sean’s favorite joke when I start to sound “too formal” talking about a complex topic because I’m afraid of being misunderstood.

He tells me not to run for congress… instead, to just say what I think. I need to trust that he knows me enough to get my intent — or ask questions to fully understand — even if my initial words aren’t perfect.

That trust can be hard for me.

I’m a non-confrontational person who loves “warm fuzzy” feelings. If we look back at the slew of personality and strengths tests I took in college, empathy and harmony top the list.

I mean, can’t we all just hold hands and sing songs? That’s my dream. I’m only partially kidding 😉

So sometimes it’s tough when I find myself with a million thoughts in my head that I so want to share… and also a million doubts that I’ll share the wrong way or offend someone or come on too strong.

I’m passionate:

About dogs

Living with them well. Learning with them well. Connecting with them and connecting with fellow dog lovers through them.

I find it so unbelievably rewarding, and it is so unbelievably difficult to shut up about it sometimes.

And about avoiding generalizations

It’s important to me to accept differences and embrace the many nuances in the world around us. I don’t know if “right” and “wrong” exist as black-and-white things in almost any context.

We all have our own moral frameworks, our own values, our own experiences… and I like that.

So I find myself overthinking

I want to say things yet simultaneously think of the many ways they can be perceived — or the holes in my logic I can’t fill in with a few thousand characters on social media — and I feel like no matter what I do, some voter is going to get in a tizzy and tell their family I’m an idiot over the dinner table.

But Sean’s right.

I’m not running for congress. The stakes aren’t that high. I have faith in my audience — this wonderful community — to see who I am and understand my intent.

And I have faith in myself to focus on what actually matters

Because the only creature I really need to impress, the only one I really need to trust me and love me, is Scout. That’s what matters.

Campaign speeches be damned.

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My life with Scout probably looks different than your life with your dog. I’m sure there are similarities — like hopefully how dedicated we are to our companions’ overall health and happiness — but there’s no way we do everything the same. And that’s not only okay… it’s awesome. We shouldn’t be the same! There are a lot of generalizations in the dog ownership and training world. Many of them make sense. After all, rules of thumb exist for a reason. But at the end of the day, every dog is an individual. Every owner is an individual. Every situation is full of individual factors. What I need and want from Scout in order to enjoy life with her is different than what you need, or what my neighbor needs, or what my parents need. Some of us live in apartments. Some of us live on acres of land. Some of us prioritize leash manners. Some of us barely even use a leash. Some of us have dogs who need a lot of help navigating our world. Some of us have dogs with stable genetics and great early socialization. Some of us live in busy, loud households. Some of us have quiet, routine lives. Some of us love to get out and about. Some of us stay in every chance we get. The examples are endless. The nuances are endless. The differences are endless. It’s why I’m so passionate about asking WHY Scout needs to do anything before focusing on teaching it to her. What behaviors have the biggest impact on our life together? How can I focus on those? Does x, y, or z really matter that much? All this goes to say that there is no one way to live with a dog. There are standards I’d love to see every owner meet — public responsibility, health care and grooming, biological fulfillment — but even those differ across breeds, across lifestyles, across individual personalities. So let’s talk. Let’s share what we do — and most importantly, let’s share WHY we do it. And instead of being afraid and defensive about the differences… let’s put them into context, understand that our needs are fundamentally different, and see what we can learn anyway. My happy, brave, apartment-living, flexi-wearing cattle dog is all the proof I need 💛

A post shared by Training a Heeler & Her Human (@paws.andreflect) on Aug 23, 2020 at 1:33pm PDT