What I’d Do Differently if I Could Adopt My Dog All Over Again

We’re coming up on four years of life with Scout. Four! I feel like the time has absolutely flown by — yet when I look back I’m overwhelmed by how much we’ve experienced together. How we’ve grown. The changes we’ve shared.

From increased confidence, to a new home in a completely different state, to the development of full-time van plans, and so much more… I’m proud of our life. Sean and I have created a better level of harmony with this weird alien cattle dog creature than I could have dreamed.

But even though I love where we are today and feel thankful for the journey? There are plenty of things I’d do differently in hindsight. In no particular order, here’s what I’d change if I could go back in time and adopt Scout all over again knowing what I do now.

^{* I do not pretend this is a fully comprehensive list. Things will always continue to change, and there’s so much to unpack! But it encompasses the “big tickets” that have been most top of mind over the years. Sean and I also recently recorded a podcast episode reflecting on past training and potential guilt, and I previously wrote a blog with some of the biggest ways our training philosophy has changed over time, if you’re interested in hearing more at a high level.}

Prioritize play and fulfillment above all else!

Thoughtful, engaged play has become one of my biggest passions as a dog owner. (We have an entire blog category about it as well as an Instagram story highlight.) I wish more than anything that I’d known to prioritize structured games and biological fulfillment immediately after adopting Scout.

It’s not that we didn’t play at all — I remember several “two ball” fetch sessions and some haphazard tug — but in the beginning my focus was on tiring Scout out rather than satisfying her instincts and drives. When I made a mental shift and fully leaned into the social elements of play rather than fixating on toys themselves, so much changed for the better in our lives.

Why I wish I’d been more thoughtful about play and fulfillment early on:

• Focusing on play has been the singlest best thing we’ve done for our relationship. It enables us to interact as fellow creatures — to embrace the emotions and tendencies we share as social mammals.
• Play, particularly competitive games like tug, has done wonders for Scout’s confidence. She’s learned to fight through pressure to become more mentally (and physically) tough!
• Structured play has also built our cattle dog’s focus. Practicing staying committed to the game around distractions and temptations translates into other areas of our life.
• Play is a way to hone many valuable skills (like that aforementioned focus) without the interaction feeling like a high pressure training situation. There’s less leverage involved. More fun!
• Play relieves stress. So do other biologically fulfilling activities like sniffing, foraging for food, and so on. As a generally fearful dog, Scout’s baseline level of stress seems higher than many pets I’ve known — focusing on these things sets her up for more success in our bustling human world.

And some related links on play and fulfillment:

• Getting My Head Around Cooperative vs Competitive Play
• Reasons We Play With Our Dog “Just to Play”
• Resources We’ve Used to Build Our Dog’s Play Drive
• Why We Changed Our Dog Training Checklists to Focus on Fulfillment
• No Punishment Without Fulfillment: Being Fair to My Dog
• My Evolving Take on Wanting My Cattle Dog to be “Calm”

Work on loose leash walking and precise obedience later

This ties well into wishing I’d prioritized on play from the get go. Instead, I spent a lot of time drilling obedience skills (like sit, down, and stays) with Scout pretty much from the moment I brought her home.

Make no mistake: I do love this sort of training, and I’m thrilled our cattle dog knows the commands she does! But these focused, food-based sessions weren’t the best way to build our relationship. I think that fixating so much on reinforcing behaviors right away prevented me from fully understanding Scout. And it prevented her from more clearly showing me who she is and what she feels.

If I could go back in time, I’d have our dog on a back-clipping harness and longer leash for every single walk at first. We’d play in as many environments as possible. I’d interact with her and the world around us without thinking so much about marking the right behaviors or delivering treats (though of course I’d use food, the line, etc as management when needed in a given situation).

Then, once we’d built a bit more of a relationship and I’d learned about her natural tendencies, I’d work on cleaning up obedience and collar walking (loose leash) skills.

You can read more about our loose leash walking and heel training process in this article.

Give more food for free or in enrichment puzzles

I touched on this above. While I love that Scout knows several commands, I wouldn’t do as many food-based training sessions (especially not right away) if I could adopt her all over again.

To honor her canine “contrafreeloading” tendency (more on that in the post below) I’d provide several meals in enrichment puzzles, scattered in the grass for her to sniff out, and other similar outlets. It’s not that I don’t ever want her working for her food. I think overcoming some resistance in that situation can be a great way to build confidence (not to mention socialization in terms of exposure to different textures and surfaces)!

But I do want to be conscious of not always being the source of that resistance myself.

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A post shared by Haley 👩🏼‍💻 + Scout 🐺 + current foster pups 🍼 (@paws.andreflect)

Mostly: I wish I’d focused less on Scout “earning” everything from me and more on interacting as fellow creatures. Showing each other our personalities. Sharing food more naturally. I’ve talked about this at length before in another blog — you can read more about our hand feeding journey and changes over time here!

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A post shared by Haley 👩🏼‍💻 + Scout 🐺 + current foster pups 🍼 (@paws.andreflect)

Use consistent reward markers from the beginning

The previous section is not to say I wouldn’t use food at all. Just that I’d use it differently! And part of using rewards effectively, in my experience so far, has been associating them with consistent marker sounds to provide Scout with maximum clarity in the feedback I’m giving.

In the beginning, I only used “yes” to mark every time Scout did something I liked that earned her a reward. Sometimes I said “yes” when I wanted her to keep doing the behavior, sometimes at the end… it got pretty confusing. When I expanded our marker system, our training got a lot smoother. You can read more about our current reward marker usage in this article.

Get her around neutral dogs right away

Let me be clear: This is far easier said than done. To this day I struggle to find properly neutral dogs to hang out with, especially given that some of our meetups and training consults have left me with particular trust issues. (Yeah, turns out I can be a little bit fear reactive myself 😂)

But even though the logistics can be tough, it’s worth it. I think that Scout could have grown a lot more confidence around her own species — confidence that would have been harder to shake even if she did inevitably get attacked — had I gotten her around respectful, safe dogs from the very beginning.

The shelter warned me that she “needed some help feeling comfortable” with other dogs… but I figured that merely acting calm while passing them on the street would be enough. It clearly wasn’t.

You can read about how we’ve found group dog training classes for safe exposure in this piece.

Be more thoughtful about direct interactions with strangers

I was a lot messier in the ways I handled greetings with other people and dogs when I first adopted Scout. I’m a recovering people pleaser, and it’s easy to make me feel awkward. I often acquiesced to requests of “can we say hi?” simply to avoid any sense of conflict… even though it wasn’t always the best thing for Scout.

If I could go back in time? I wouldn’t limit all interactions with people out and about (but I probably would steer clear of any dogs we didn’t know). I’d pay closer attention to Scout’s body language in each situation and be more vocal about stepping in earlier on if she started to feel uncomfortable.

Ultimately, I’d make it a top priority that she never felt forced into a greeting. This sentiment has become a key piece of recovering from her outward fear reactivity.

You can read more about how I decide whether or not to let someone pet Scout in this article and my thoughts on the importance of advocacy overall in this one!

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A post shared by Haley 👩🏼‍💻 + Scout 🐺 + current foster pups 🍼 (@paws.andreflect)

Practice my own confidence more first

Scout is incredibly affected by me. She’s socially sensitive. She pattern maps quickly. I’ve seen her be permanently affected by single experiences (one-trial learning). I wish I’d realized these things sooner! If I could adopt her all over again, I’d spend more time working on my own confidence and tactical skills before even bringing her home.

Simple things like fluid leash handling, marker timing & reward delivery, thinking through potential situations to devise plans of action ahead of time, staying calm in stressful situations, recovering quickly from surprises, and overall just building my own resilience would make me a better, steadier, more consistent owner for her.

You can read more about some of the “human training” I’ve done to make myself a better owner for Scout in this piece.

All in all think about our goals more critically

Everything in this article comes back to our personal goals in some way. Why did I first prioritize obedience, loose leash walking, and hand feeding so much? Because I felt like that’s what I was supposed to do — that’s what I saw in the community around me.

Since my early days with Scout, I’ve made it a point to think more critically about what we actually want out of our life. You can read more about our goal setting in this article, and one of my first reflections on “why does my dog need to do any specific thing?” in this one. These thought processes have become a huge cornerstone of my dog ownership.