My dog matters more than your opinion of me

When we first brought my family’s husky home, I wanted so desperately for her to be “good“.

I was the one who pushed hardest for my parents to adopt her. I went around telling everyone who would listen how unbelievably sweet she was, how well she’d do in our household, how this was definitely the right decision…

And I came to feel that her behavior would be a reflection of me.

If she was wild or unruly, would that mean my judgment had been wrong? That I failed her and my family? That I wasn’t a good enough dog owner?

I spent far too many walks and outings stressing over every little detail of her behavior. I became anxious if she pulled on her leash for even a second or shied away when a kid tried to pet her.

I was preoccupied with the world’s perception of my dog. But t I should have been preoccupied with my dog’s perception of me.

Our dogs are their own, sentient creatures

It is my job to protect any dogs in my care — but it is not my job to make sure every stranger we ever meet loves them.

My pets aren’t some objects I get to show off and use to impress people. They are my companions, and I am their advocate. If I want to do right by them, there’s no way around it: Our relationship has to be more important than the disappointment of another human.

It is my duty as a responsible owner to watch my dog’s body language and keep them (and everyone around them) safe. It is my duty to be their voice.

But is not my duty to please the rest of the world.

I have to act in my dog’s best interest first

If my dog is getting stressed in a situation, I will either actively work her through it or get her out of it.

This might mean I turn my focus from enjoying a patio dinner date to keeping her calm while we scarf down our food. It might mean I skip out on a pack walk or group class a little early. It might mean I come across as antisocial.

But it is not rude for me to say “sorry, we’re training” if a kind stranger asks to pet her and she seems nervous.

It is not rude for me to body block a small child from grabbing her tail.

It is not rude to physically keep another owner’s “friendly” off-leash dog from charging us in an on-leash area.

My dog deserves my advocacy

Even if it means disappointing someone else.

Some people believe that as long as they ask, they have the right to pet every dog in the world. Some people believe that a nervous animal just needs more “socialization” in the form of flooding.

People believe all sorts of different things, and we’re entitled to our own opinions based on personal experiences — but my obligation is, fundamentally, to my dog first.

Sure, someone might think I “care too much” because I’m willing to leave a get-together to take her home or let her outside. They might think I “haven’t trained her properly” because she doesn’t want to greet strange dogs.

But I can’t let what they may think bother me.

My priority isn’t what people believe of my ability as a handler — my priority is what my dog believes. Having her trust me and feel safe is far more important than what anyone else could say.

My dog’s opinion matters most

I absolutely care about respecting the people around me. I try my best to never allow my dog to hurt or disrupt anyone else while out and about.

But if doing what’s best for her means I’ll get a weird look or judging eye? I’m okay with it!

When she needs my support and guidance, I have to be present with her — not caught up in worries about what other people think.

My relationship with my dog matters more than other people’s perceptions of that relationship. We can’t grow together if I’m focused on everyone else.

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