Updated post: This article was first published in June 2020 and slightly edited in April 2024.
When an off-leash dog starts sprinting towards me and my blue heeler, my adrenaline spikes. These approaches have historically been not just annoying, irritating, or slightly bothersome.
No: After all we’ve been through, they can feel terrifying.
Why can off-leash dogs be a problem?
I’ve worked hard to help my dog feel safe with me
Scout is sweet, submissive, and shy. After being attacked while on leash, she doesn’t have interest in interacting with unfamiliar dogs — and she certainly doesn’t want them approaching at full speed!
We primarily take her to areas that have leash laws precisely because of this. We’ve done a lot of training to get her to the point where she can neutrally coexist around other dogs, and it is one of my proudest accomplishments that she’s generally a model public citizen. (She has her Canine Good Citizen title, earned her Advanced Trick Dog in a group class with other pets, and goes just about everywhere with us in our converted van home.)
But every time an unknown dog charges us without permission? We risk being set back.
I have to make a decision between breaking Scout’s faith in handler (which has taken ages to build) or keeping the other dog out of her space (which is never fun, largely because of how owners respond).
The worst part is how easy it is to become emotionally overwhelmed in those situations. Scout’s safety, trust, and relationship with me feel like they’re on the line. Those stakes are high… and my anger can quickly follow suit.
Plus out-of-control dogs can be problematic in general
Byond my own dog’s fear:
- Some of our loved ones aren’t comfortable around dogs. Others can be unsteady on their feet. Being rushed full speed by an unfamiliar canine, even if they really are friendly, can range from slightly worrisome to physically dangerous.
- We care a lot about the environment. Some spaces have leash laws to protect plants, soil, and wildlife. Fragile ecosystems can be devastated by dogs running off trail.
- Some dogs aren’t scared like Scout but don’t want to be approached without permission for other reasons. They might be sick, injured (we’ve fostered two dogs with broken legs), elderly, or in training for things ranging from service work to general neutrality.
- The more people break the rules in pet-friendly places, the greater the chance parks departments or other relevant organizations consider banning pets altogether.
In short: Responsible dog ownership is one of my biggest passions. Leash-required areas exist for a reason. We shouldn’t assume others want to interact with our dog. It’s important to have our pets under control!
So when fellow handlers disregard the other people and animals around them in shared spaces… even if Scout herself is doing well… I can feel pretty upset.
How not to handle being rushed by off-leash dogs
I once got into a yelling match with a drunk college student after his dog charged us, and let me tell you: Whether or not I was “in the right” in the situation, I still felt like utter crap afterward.
I once kicked out to keep a girl’s black lab away when it tried to nip Scout’s hind leg, and she promptly rattled off a slew of profane accusations. What did I do? Yelled back… and you guessed it: felt like utter crap.
In fact, every single time I’ve raised my voice at the owner of a dog off leash where it shouldn’t be, I’ve felt awful.
This is for multiple reasons:
- Harmony and respect are two of my values. Giving into heightened emotions and yelling at strangers does not align with who I want to be.
- Screaming isn’t productive. Rarely, if ever, has antagonistic yelling inspired any real change.
- Causing a scene only makes the experience more overwhelming and scary for Scout.
So if getting self-righteously angry isn’t the solution, what is?
We live in a world where people are going to break the rules. It’s a fact. If I live constantly bothered by every transgression, I’m not going to have very much fun… and Scout certainly isn’t either!
I’ve spent a long time wrestling with my emotions when we deal with irresponsible owners. I’m nowhere near perfect — I still feel that rush of adrenaline and self-righteousness sometimes — but I’m proud to say it’s been ages since I yelled at a drunk stranger 😉
Here are a few ways I try to keep my emotions in check.
Method #1: Put my dog’s needs above everything else
First things first: When an off-leash dog is trying to get to Scout, she needs me.
She needs me to step in. Give her direction. Reasonably advocate for her space. Stay steady and calm, not frazzled and rude.
As someone who puts so much time and energy into my relationship with my dog, it is hard to look at another handler jeopardizing her safety and feel empathetic. Sometimes I just can’t get myself to care much what the owner of an off-leash dog sprinting towards us thinks.
But I do care what Scout thinks.
When I frame my reaction as something that benefits my relationship with her, it’s easier to stay calm. I’m not being polite and level-headed for the sake of the other human — I’m doing it for my dog!
Here’s what I try to tell myself when I see an off-leash dog approaching us:
- I have the power to make this situation less traumatic for Scout.
- If I stay calm, I have the greatest chance of keeping her safe.
- My dog picks up on my stress. It’s unfair to pass that on to her.
- We’ve trained for this. We can handle it.
- Politely asking the owner to leash their dog might help them want to help us!
- Yelling and screaming at the other owner will put them on the defensive.
- I can’t control anyone else’s behavior… but I can control my own actions.
- Scout deserves a calm, steady owner worthy of trusting and listening to.
Method #2: Think about creating small incremental change
Thinking about putting Scout’s needs above my feelings of self-righteousness and anger has been extremely helpful. On top of that, here’s another thing I try to ask myself when I find myself getting emotional about off-leash dogs:
“What can I do that has the greatest chance of creating long-term change?”
I’m not under a naive illusion that Scout and I are going to revolutionize dog ownership. People get to make their own decisions — and some will always break the rules, or think they’re the shiny exception, or simply not care about the world around them. It is what it is.
But every time we interact with another owner, we have an opportunity to plant a seed for some small incremental change!
As gratifying as it can feel in the heat of the moment, the truth is that yelling at someone is pretty much never a productive way to get them to think more critically about their actions.
There are two sides to every story
For every story I tell my dog friends about being charged by an off-leash dog in an on-leash area, there is another being told by the other owner involved.
It probably sounds a little different.
When I say “I can’t believe they blatantly broke the clear leash laws like that”, they say “I can’t believe she was so upset”. For each of my “it was so stressful”, they have their own “he just wanted to say hi”.
And in our own circles, we both get support for telling our different versions of the experience.
In my mind, the owner breaking leash laws is rude, irresponsible, and a slew of other unsavory adjectives. In their mind, the girl with the scared heeler is a crazy, out-of-control dog lady. Why does she even have her dog in public if it doesn’t want to be social?
The stories we tell ourselves color everything else.
Yelling doesn’t make a difference
When we yell at each other, all we do is deepen the perceived differences between us. Now we’re both angry, defensive, and entirely unwilling to listen.
That’s never been a recipe for anything good.
Even if I don’t care what the other owner thinks of me — even if I do feel they are irresponsible and someone I’d rather not associate with moving forward — I can at least care about trying not to put on a circus for everyone around us.
When I’m polite, composed, and ready to calmly explain why my dog (and many others in public) doesn’t want to be approached, I create an opportunity to do two things:
- Get the other owner of the off-leash dog to think about how their actions affect others. Our human brains love anecdotes, so sharing Scout’s personal story might make a difference.
- Educate the other bystanders around us. If I’m shouting like a madwoman, no one will be very inclined to hear me out. (I don’t blame them!) But if I handle the situation maturely, there’s a chance that an onlooker might reconsider their own perceptions.
Both of these potential changes are small. Perhaps they are trivial. But if I can turn a stressful, difficult experience into something positive — no matter how little — it sure feels like a win to me.
Progress isn’t linear — and big emotions are valid
I’m a work in progress. My relationship with Scout is a work in progress. Everything about my dog ownership journey is (and always will be) a work in progress.
Every time I maturely handle being charged by an off-leash dog, it gets a little easier. It will never be my favorite scenario to “practice” — but it’s a fact of life, and working through it makes us stronger.
We can’t control the actions of other people. In the moment, we just try to handle being approached in the healthiest way possible. In the long run, we hope to create small incremental change.
When it comes to my dog, I know my emotions might always be a little erratic. Scout is my “blind spot”. But I can keep trying to create more positivity in the world through every situation we encounter… even (and especially) when it seems unfair that we have to deal with them in the first place.
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Like a few others, I found my way here while trying to process a negative interaction with an off-leash dog guardian in an on-leash space that has left me feeling like crap this evening. I let my emotions get the better of me and the yelling match that ensued didn’t accomplish anything.
I identify so much with the rage and self-righteousness described, rooted in too many prior negative encounters with aggressive off-leash dogs that have left my previously dog social pup reactive and me terrified that we’ll have another dangerous encounter.
I really appreciate your reframing for why keeping a calm mind in these situations is important and who it benefits – first and foremost for my dog, his well-being, and giving him the best chance I can to unlearn his fear and rebuild his confidence, while I also work on doing the same.
So, thank you for this post – I really needed it tonight.
I completely hear you and how your individual experience has affected your psyche regarding unknown dogs moving in you and your dogs direction. I’m surprised to hear it has been impossible to retrain the current response in your pup away from fear or anxiety, but it’s not my dog and I haven’t a clue how it thinks so I’ll zip it there! I will say, that as hard as we all may try to “stay calm” when our brain is sending “danger!” Signals to our brain, dogs will always sense it in us and respond accordingly…regardless if we demonstrate verbal or physical outbursts.
Somebody above posted this point and I want to reiterate it. I believe local communities should balance an equal number of leashed and off leash spaces for dogs to play and socialize. I moved from the east coast to San Diego and was shocked with how many extremely large, expansive spaces inland and on the coastal beaches there are for dogs to be dogs. Of course there’s always a random incident as they are animals, not humans, but thankfully it’s mostly minor. I’ve even seen dogs who’ve have some sort of previous outburst even show up with a muzzle for everybody safety so the dog could still roam. Some dogs are very social and live to run over and introduce themselves and their toys to new people/dogs. I appreciate that for you it’s difficult to discern whether it’s that or an aggressively violent dog charging at you in the moment. Stay to the leashed parks if it helps with piece of mind, because I’m sure your pup will benefit from you feeling relaxed. But, I would ask you to google how many dedicated offleash spaces are nearby before losing it over any person who dares unclip their dog because local administrations fail to provide adequate recreational space for pets. If there weren’t any dedicated places to go off leash, even I, somebody I consider a responsible/considerate owner, would have to choose my battles and let ‘em run a bit—and absorb the risk of responsibility should anything unexpected happen.
Hey Shawn, I appreciate you taking the time to comment! I get the sense that we might be “talking past” each other a little bit and would love the chance to clarify 🙂
When you say “before losing it over any person who dares unclip their dog”, that’s the entire point of this post: how I handle heightened emotions in these situations and prevent myself from losing it! Getting into loud arguments or trying to police everyone around us is not a productive way to move through the world, and I hope that message is the main takeaway of this writing.
In regards to the accessibility of off-leash spaces, I wholeheartedly agree! https://pawsandreflect.blog/in-my-perfect-world-dog-ownership-fantasies/ This post from July actually talks about just that. It’s a shame that a small, disrespectful minority can “ruin it for everyone” so often, and in my perfect world we’d have many more off-leash legal spaces where dogs could interact naturally (that is to say, minimally and in passing) without being forced into dog-park-esque scenarios.
As for one other thing you mentioned: It’s not so much that it’s difficult to discern whether a dog is aggressive or not — it certainly can be, and I have increasing respect for how differently dogs can display various signals after interacting with more over the years — but rather the fact that any unsolicited approach can still pose an issue for dogs who aren’t looking to interact. The risk is certainly lower than if an animal has an intent to attack, but the training setbacks can be real even if a dog is the friendliest in the world. If someone chooses to let their dog off leash in a space that isn’t designated for it (that is, a space where folks entering don’t know to expect approaches) I think the minimum they can do is now allow their dog to get into another person or animal’s space without permission. That alone could solve so many issues, and my understanding is that it’s the culture of many areas in Europe where leash laws aren’t as common in the first place.
Thanks again for taking the time to chat! Give your dogs a hello from me 🙂
This is a general response to multiple comments here.
General respect for others requires compromise at times. There are “No Smoking” areas and designated “Smoking” areas legally enforced for a reason. You are allowed to get as drunk as you want at home, but legally cannot be belligerent in public, nor can you drive under the influence. This is to protect the rights of everyone. Sure there will be self indulgent a$$holes out there that argue they can do what they want (I always picture a toddler stomping their feet and throwing a fit) but the reality is this: you should NOT be able to do whatever YOU want to the extent it encroaches on another persons freedom. When I was a kid I was attacked at a school bus stop by an unleashed dog. I adore dogs. I adopt the ones that are a pain in the ass because I know how to rehabilitate them. I’m understanding when someone else is struggling with problem behavior in their dogs. But the argument that “trained” dogs should be able to run like another commenter said, is VERY short sighted. The owner of the dog that attacked me said he has never done that before. I was in my moms arms and the dog was trying to go after ME. We had dogs. It was crazy. The owner also said “he has a mind of his own” when my mom asked why he wasn’t on a lead if he wouldn’t listen. The elementary bus stop was directly across the street from his house. No excuses he should have had a lead or something to keep his dog on his property. Also-There is a power imbalance when one dog is on leash and another is not. That’s why off leash dog parks have a rule that you cannot keep your dog leashed inside. Another question- if your off leash dog is so wonderfully trained- why can you not control them off leash to only approach when invited? Is that too much of an inconvenience for you? Did you not have to learn how to drive a car, pass a test proving you could do so safely, and then promise to follow traffic laws? Of course you did. Because there is a law. And I’m assuming you have a general expectation of other cars on the road based on those laws. Well dog owners should be able to have general expectations of behavior based on the laws. The other thing is the thought that there is something wrong with the leashes dog because they are anxious and/or reactive because they are fearful. I sensed an idiotic assumption that this dog owner is the problem, and that she shouldn’t bring her dog on leash in public because her dog is fearful. She is working on desensitizing her dog with positive interactions. She should be able to expect that dogs will be leashes in a public area where it is the law, so that she can seek out those positive interactions. If another dog owner wants to make rude comments about her training her dog, but at the same time make it impossible for her to do so, I would like for you to explain how she should do that. And if YOUR dog were trained they wouldn’t be approaching people when they were off leash. If your off leash dog were to approach an on leash dog without invitation (I don’t care how friendly they are), and were to incite a fear based response for startling the on leash dog and YOUR off leash dog were to get injured or killed, what would you say? What would you do? How would you handle your traumatized dog if they needed safe spaces to learn to trust other dogs? Would you seek out spaces that had laws in place to protect your dog from unwanted interactions? Aaaaaand one more thing. Anxiety is not always something you can “train out” of an anxious dog. You can do your best to desensitize them with positive rewards, socialize them etc. Sometimes the best you can expect is that your dog is polite and socially acceptable on a leash in public. Deal with it. Their requirements are that you respect areas with a leash law. Not that you go above and beyond accommodate them beyond what the law is. As for the comment that the author of this blog should go out of her way to see if there are designated off leash areas before yelling at someone for a off leash dog- that’s ridiculous. Why should she do the other persons work for them? THEY should have done that. And if there isn’t one near by and convenient enough for them, well that’s not her problem to solve. A friends (very friendly) dog was on leash in an on leash only area. They were approached by another dog who bit their dog starting a fight. The off leash dog was badly injured. Do you think animal control cared if there was an off leash park near by? No. They detained the injured animal for care and evaluation to see if it needed to be euthanized. The whole thing was messed up. My friend was afraid for her dog who was also injured, and she was SOOO angry at the other owner who said her dog “just wanted to play.” I see this all the time in people in general. They don’t take accountability for their actions, but “don’t know” how the bad outcomes occurred that they were directly responsible for. There were witnesses that saw her “playful” dog run up and bite the other dog. I asked if that’s how her dog plays and she said “that’s how all dogs play.” If I ran up to a stranger and put them in a headlock because that’s how I said hello and they punched me, I shouldn’t be surprised. I see this attitude with people in general far too often now. They only want what serves them, damn everyone else. Because they “won’t be told what to do.” It’s insane. Be respectful of others. (Don’t be selfish)Live and let live. (Don’t inhibit others “living” so you can do what you want.) I adore dogs. Many times WAY more than their owners. You can’t just walk around in the world expecting to do whatever you want and make excuses for bad behavior when it prevents others from the same freedoms you are so entitled to.
[…] some type of deterrent for off-leash dogs (like pet corrector or citronella spray) because so many of our neighbors didn’t follow the […]
Ugh. Thank you. I needed this.
Telling people to cry and make a big deal out of off leash dogs is the real issue. If you’re calm, your dog will be calm, and there’s no reason your untrained dog should be limiting others freedom in public
Sadly, you know very little about dogs. I hope you’re not a dog owner? Dogs can be protective of their owner, dominant with other dogs, elderly with issues like failing eyesight (which has caused fear aggression in my friend’s dog). Why should some dog owners have full freedom at the expense of others? All they’re asking for is space to enjoy leash only public areas!!
For a moment, just try to stretch your brain and think of the daily challenges these dog owners face, but most importantly, the dogs themselves! While your dog can enjoy anywhere at any time, these dogs have an ever-shrinking window of opportunities to explore places. Why should they have so much less in their world because of owners like you?
Felt so bad about a horrible exchange I had with another dog owner this morning when his off-leash dog ran toward my leashed pup that I googled how to handle these situations. Haley’s post really helped and addressed exactly what I was feeling. When I told the unleashed dog’s owner that he should leash his dog, he responded, “Call the cops.” And then, “You shouldn’t have a dog.” I was so angry that I responded with an expletive which, of course, only escalated things as he started calling me names. He was at fault for the unleashed dog, but like Haley I don’t like my temper to get the best of me. I recently cracked a rib when an unleashed dog lunged at mine and I slammed into a metal fence and also got a deep cut on my hand from another unleashed dog attack. So I’ve become somewhat traumatized and hyper-sensitive to these situations. Nevertheless, I’m determined to learn to be a cooler pup parent. Thanks Haley for your post!
I am so sorry that situation happened Kelly — those moments can be SO hard. I’m absolutely honored you found my own experiences and writing about it a little helpful! Sending love to you and your pup.
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I’ll bet you dress your dog up in coats and little boot etc … you folk shouldn’t own a dog wise up woman
Scout’s very happy with our life, we’re very happy with her, and yes, she looks darn adorable in her winter jacket when it’s particularly cold and we still want to enjoy a walk without her feeling uncomfortable 😉
how brave an anonymouse comment!
Haley
If dogs are not trained or will be a danger to anyone they don’t get off the lead … I agree
In my experience dogs off the lead approach to say hi…
Because your dog is a big wet blanket the majority suffer . let you’d dog off the lead and let it make dog pals and stop causing such fuss . My opinion you are the problem not the dogs … come on , get a grip
I’m not sure if this reply will reach you since you didn’t leave any name or contact information, but leaving it here just in case. I’m always happy to chat about dog ownership, training, our personal decisions, etc — but it’s a requirement to me that the conversation be polite and productive. If you revisit the “why can off-leash dogs be a problem” section at the top of this article, you’ll see why simply letting Scout “make dog pals” isn’t a possibility for us. I’m glad to hear that you’ve personally had decent experiences with no dog attacks, fights, lasting trauma, or so on, but that isn’t everyone’s reality.
I’m so thankful I came across your post after an encounter with an off leash dog while walking my dogs in our apartment complex. I reacted emotionally and was feeling like crap! Searching for ways to do better next time, your website appeared. Thank you for sharing your experiences in a relatable way, and the hope of clear ways to improve relationship with our dogs and other people. Please keep writing!
I am so glad it resonated with you! Those encounters are never fun, but I do feel happy that they seem to get easier over time.
I sometimes take my dogs on an off leash run with my bicycle. I try to stick to areas of the park and times of the day with few people/dogs but still have a few run ins.
For me the issue is i live in an apartment with 2 high energy dogs and being ‘on leash’ doesn’t decrease their energy because I simply can’t run them tired.
I have had people scream at me for this but they haven’t contributed to my fund for a house and yard in the suburbs. The dog park in my area is also extremely cramped and doesn’t do the least in helping them get their energy out.
I believe the real problem is there really arent enough large fenced in areas for dogs to play due to lack of funding. Nobody wants to address this problem and therefore the owners of yappy, small dogs with less exercise needs or shy dogs end up getting furious at other dog owners.
Being screamed at as you said has not changed my behavior at all i just shrug them off because I can’t do anything about these peoples angry reactions. If the govt or a group of neighbors actually funded a large dog park in my area tho, that would actually change my behavior (and remove the need for places where I can leave them off leash).
I really appreciate you taking the time to comment!
It’s definitely tough to have a high energy dog without access to safe off-leash legal spaces. That’s how I feel with Scout a lot of the time, too. (We lived in three different apartments before finally moving into a house). We’ve personally found success with things that respect the legislative intent of leash laws but still give her more freedom (like long lines and retractable leashes) and then focusing on mental stimulation along with physical exercise. (Exercise alone was just conditioning her to go even farther — the difference between “tired” and “fulfilled” has been huge for us!)
I also think the behavior of off-leash dogs can make a big difference. I always always appreciate and prefer a clear visual tether (we’ve had so many bad experiences that the sight of an off-leash dog, whether or not it first appears under control, can cause us to completely leave the space) — but I’m only truly bothered / properly scared when someone allows their dog to approach us directly. If your dog is biking near you and never approaches anyone without permission, I’d say it still isn’t ideal in an on-leash space… but it’s so much better than if they’re approaching folks (which would of course just be unsafe in a public area that isn’t designated for dog interaction).
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