Dear “reactive” dog owners
I'm cheering for you
“Reactive” dog owners — I see you.
Though you turn around the second you spot me coming, I see you.
Though you walk in the early hours of the morning and late hours of the night to avoid your dog’s triggers, I see you.
Though you try to hide because you’re embarrassed by your dog’s barking and growling and lunging, I see you.
Though you never go to the dog park or crowded downtown streets, I see you.
Though you cry your tears in private because people tell you it’s “just a dog”, I see you.
I see you, and I am one of you.
I know the unpopular paths, the emergency escape routes, the schedules of the other owners in the neighborhood. I know which yards are safe to pass and which might have off-leash dogs running onto the sidewalk.
I know the terror when someone’s dog approaches uninvited.
I know the way your stomach collapses when you see triggers coming toward you with no way out. I know the overwhelming love you have for your dog who is so darn sweet except for this quirk no one seems to understand.
I know the frustration, I know the embarrassment, I know the helplessness.
I know the pain. I know the ups and downs, the rollercoaster of progress and setbacks and progress and setbacks. I know the desperation.
But I also know the hard work.
I see you making decisions to advocate for your dog — to make space out in public, to tell strangers they can’t “say hi“, to intercept that off-leash dog running your way — even when it feels like the toughest thing in the world.
I see you investigating new training methods and using all the resources you can find. I see you learning from your mistakes. I see you getting back up and trying again.
I see you pushing, and growing, and coming to enjoy that wonderful dog on the end of the leash.
And most importantly?
I see you beginning to define yourself as so much more than the owner of a “reactive” dog.
I see you laughing when he chases the ball, realizing she is braver than you ever imagined, starting to understand that “reactive” is not his definition but just a trait he sometimes shows. A trait you two can work through — together.
I see you, even when you think no one does. Even when you wish no one did.
I am cheering so hard for every effort you make on this far-from-linear journey.
And we can do this.
