I Quit an Awesome Job to Write About My Dog?

On December 16th, I clocked out of my job at a small (but mighty!) digital marketing agency for the last time.

It was my first “real” position out of college — I worked there for three and a half years, growing from a timid 21-year-old standing on the front steps of my old college house into a passable adult who owns a home and is planning a wedding.

I loved that job. It’s barely been a month since I left, and I already miss it: supportive coworkers, bosses who felt far more like cool uncles than upper management, the diversity and speed of client work that sometimes pushed me to my creative limits.

But even though leaving was one of the hardest things I’ve done — and I know at least a few of my family and friends think I’m a bit crazy — I think it was the right decision.

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A post shared by Scout and Haley (@paws.andreflect)

What life at my agency job was like

In many ways, my job was a dream come true. We had a startup-esque culture that provided flexibility and challenge all at once — while “copywriter” was my official title, I got to dabble in everything from research to design and development.

When we moved to Florida for Sean’s job at the start of the pandemic, my bosses were wonderful enough to keep me on remotely. I got to work from home while staying connected to the city I loved — it felt too good to be true!

As time went on, though, I noticed myself getting more and more distracted during the work day.

It would be hard to tear myself away from a post draft or conversation about dogs. I’d watch training videos in the background on my extra monitor and realize entirely too late how much time had gone by. Though I never started Paws and Reflect with the intention of taking it full time, my mind was always just inches away from another “dog thing”.

It was unfair to the coworkers who placed so much trust in me — and with Sean’s encouragement, I reflected on how I might be able to be more fair to myself, too.

Finding what makes my heart really sing

When I was nine years old, I wrote a 300-page “novel” about a lost dog finding his way home. (For the curious, his name was Cyber, and he was a black-and-white husky with one blue eye and one brown. The heterochromia was very important to childhood me 😂)

For months I sat in front of our family’s shared computer almost every evening, typing and deleting and re-reading and imagining. I dreamed of being an author — and I’d always loved animals more than even words could express.

Although I “got real” when accepted to college and pursued a major with many viable career paths, I never fully gave up on the idea of crafting words for a living. I always had at least one personal blog / portfolio project running, and I relished any chance to play with words in my classes.

It was a teary-eyed moment when I got my first official “copywriter” business card. I sent a photo to my mom captioned “I’ve made it!” — and in many ways, that was true. I was a writer.

But no matter how much I threw myself into our clients’ businesses, the work never quite filled my cup the way dreaming about Cyber once had. The way scribbling poetry in the margins always did. The way that, more and more, consolidating thoughts on dog ownership did.

Thanks to hard work (and a whole lot of luck)

After many conversations with Sean, my parents, and the rest of my support network, I started to seriously consider that I might be able to make a living sharing about my life with Scout.

I’d run our Instagram and blog largely like an open journal for nearly three years, and its growth surprised me to the point of disbelief. How much further could I take it if I devoted full-time resources to the passion? Was there actually a chance I could support our little family financially while doing what I loved, what I’d planned to always do on the side anyway?

The answer seemed to be yes — but I struggled with it for months. While I put a lot of time and effort into our goal of “encouraging fellow dog lovers”, it still mostly feels like a gift that anyone would read my words. I’ve never directly promoted the supporter page of our site because it just felt wrong. I wasn’t sure this was the right path… I wasn’t sure I deserved it.

And to be honest, I’m still not sure I do.

There is so much privilege at play in this decision

I’ve spent the last two weeks at home with Scout, outlining articles, listening to podcasts, playing tug, and above all feeling absolutely in awe of the fact that I don’t need to constantly check my email and answer client calls. I have all this freedom to think, to write, to focus on what makes my heart sing every day!

It is exciting and so fulfilling and just absolutely wonderful — but it’s also weird. I am so lucky to be at a point in my life where this leap was possible. I’m so privileged to have a supportive fiancé with an engineer’s income. I owe so much to the people who gave me so many things, who helped me grow into an adult with little debt and lots of opportunity.

No matter how this next adventure plays out, it’s important to me I never forget that. It’s important that I do everything I can to make them — and to make myself — proud.

So… what’s next, exactly?

Almost immediately after leaving my job, Sean, Scout, and I traveled home for the holidays. We didn’t get back to our normal routine until after the new year, which means I’ve had just ten “business days” to figure out exactly what things look like moving forward.

What I’ve realized so far? I have no idea what I’m doing 😂 Okay, kidding, at least a little.

In all seriousness, here’s a rough overview of my plan:

Priority number one: Grow our blog as much as possible.

This is my favorite space to share in because I get to have full autonomy over what I write. It feels authentic to me — and the most fulfilling type of support is when someone says “I want to support your writing because I enjoy it, because it actually brings me joy or comfort or inspiration.”

In the meantime: Freelance for companies I support.

I’m fortunate that freelance opportunities for writers are plentiful. In the meantime until our blog reaches a point of being able to replace my old 9-5 income (or in case it never does), I’m embracing the gig economy and opportunities to still speak in the dog space.

Looking ahead: Consider partnering with brands on Instagram.

I’ve long hesitated to do any sort of sponsored posts, since I’m protective of the “real” space it feels like we’ve created. That said, I think there are ways to connect with brands I actually, properly feel good about — and I’m interested in exploring what this could look like down the road.

Last but not least: Keep working on a “real” book.

I’m perfectly content with our digital space, but a deep part of me still dreams of writing a full-length, hard-copy book. It’s exciting to be in the early stages of learning more about the modern publishing world and making connections!

I have a few different ideas in mind, all nonfiction narrative-style reflections but with varying areas of focus. This isn’t my primary ambition in the immediate future — but it is a fantasy I hope to “make reality”.

Thank you for coming along for the ride 💛

At the end of the day, I’m still in awe that this many of you care about a very long-winded girl and her very strange dog. Your support means more than ever — and we’ll never be able to say thank you enough.