How to be polite to people who are afraid of dogs

Cynophobia reflections from Sean

During my childhood, the thought of dogs was always associated with something bad. Unbelievable, I know.

We didn’t have a dog of our own or any close friends with one, and most of my family had a general uneasiness towards them. My mother was especially terrified — on many occasions I can remember her standing stiffly in fear or hiding behind my dad as an off-leash dog ran at us while out on a hike.

Now I’m on the other side of the experience

Since owning Scout, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to reflect on these memories.

When I’m out with her in public, I’ll sometimes imagine my mom as one of the people walking past us and envision how she would feel. Besides making me miss her delicious baked goods, this thought experiment helps me realize how I can behave with Scout to be respectful in public.

“No thanks” to unsolicited interactions

Personally, I still don’t really enjoy involuntary interactions with dogs (or even some humans) and often wish dog owners thought a little more about what it would be like if the people they passed on the street were uneasy around dogs.

After all, you won’t know until you’ve already scared them or given them something to complain to their spouse about. (I’m not sure who has it worse, them or their spouse.)

I think it is important to consider how to avoid making others uncomfortable when we’re in public with Scout.  I’ve learned strategies from both her fear of other dogs and my own life experiences to be polite to those who might not be dog people.

One of the best things we can do is clearly use our leash

I think the biggest thing people are afraid of is that an unknown dog will physically get to them. It can be terrifying to have an animal in your space when you have no idea how that animal will behave!

For me and others who didn’t grow up with dogs, it’s hard to read a dog’s body language and know their intentions. A friendly dog and a dog ready to attack look pretty much the same if you’re already scared.

And even if the dog is friendly and physically harmless, we still really don’t want them in our space. It can be emotionally harmful — it feels very violating to be sniffed, licked, and circled by a dog without permission.

Imagine if someone subjected you to your worst fear or got up in your face and started shouting insults at you. For my mom and many others, a “friendly” off-leash dog can completely spoil the day.

As owners, we can eliminate all of this potential fear by clearly and respectfully using our dogs’ leashes.

Off-leash and out-of-control is an unfortunate combination

Haley and I see two kinds of people, especially at the beach, who like having their dogs off-leash when they have an area all to themselves to run in the waves or play fetch.

Unfortunately, the first is those with little or no recall… and we’ve watched these dogs run dozens of yards down the beach towards us or towards others, coming up to people and dogs alike.

To me, it seems like these people either don’t realize that they are being impolite or are just choosing to be selfish.

The second kind of person sees us coming from far away and calls their dogs to them to put on their leash. That way, we know we can approach and pass them safely.

Whether or not they should ever have their dogs off leash in the first place is certainly up for debate. Even so, I respect that they make sure to leash their dogs while we are still far off!

Leash laws exist for a reason

This is one of the biggest reasons for leash laws: To protect the safety and comfort of the general public.

Everywhere we go with Scout has leash laws. She’s always wearing some sort of tether, and the only time we aren’t diligently holding the other end is when we have an area to ourselves without chance of people or dogs coming near unexpectedly. (For example, we might let the handle drag on the ground so we can use two hands to play tug on an empty stretch of beach).

It doesn’t matter if we know her recall is solid — because the other people in the space can’t just tell that from far away.

Even dogs with great recall make mistakes sometimes and become distracted by the squirrel that shows up out of nowhere and starts taunting them. (And since I don’t know as much about training, Haley is here to remind me that dogs can also blow through ecollar stims in extreme circumstances.)

It’s important to make sure the leash is visible

The key is to make sure you clearly have your dogs under leash control while the people or dogs approaching are still far away. Other people don’t know if your dog is well behaved or not. They might not be willing to take the chance that yours isn’t and suddenly find a canine in their space.

To me, the most courteous thing to do is to show everyone that you are in control of your dog with no uncertainty. This simple act makes a huge difference.

Just a tether isn’t enough: Let’s be intelligent with our tools

The other biggest way I see people let their dogs interact with people, whether on accident or because of negligence, is by misusing their tools. I see lots of people using flexi leashes in busy areas with an inability or no intention of reeling in their dog when they get too close to other people and dogs.

If it wasn’t so sad, it would be comical to watch the number of dogs at the end of their overly long leashes, running up to and into everything like a bowling ball while perturbed people dive out of its way.

Flexis have their place, but to me, it is a no brainer that these people should reconsider their choice of a flexi in busy places or on sidewalks. This is especially when they can’t immediately call their dog to their side to restrict how much leash it has.

Every situation needs slightly different preparation

The same goes for the rest of the things that you attach to your dog. Be smart with your tools, whether leashes, harnesses, or treat pouches, and know which ones work best for which scenarios you might find yourself in.

With that: Know how you communicate best with your dog to be prepared for whatever environment you are entering. For us, this means when we are going to a busier area, Scout is on a collar, either a martingale, flat, or prong depending on how we’re feeling. We’ve (mostly Haley) conditioned collar pops and communication that set us up for the most success.

It also means that we probably have some kibble or treats with us to reward good behavior in a difficult environment. This also helps capture and hold Scout’s attention when she might otherwise become more easily distracted and make a bad decision.

Shortening the leash leaves no opportunity for error

The final piece of politeness is about close quarters interactions and maneuvering. The more experience I have gained with Scout, the more I have realized how important this is.

There are a lot of situations where you are going to get within a few feet of another person. I personally end up in this scenario fairly often when I am without Scout, although I do try to avoid it even then. This is because it seems like most people think that if you willingly try to pass them in the hallway or on the sidewalk when you are only a few feet apart, it means you are totally fine with their dog trying to interact with you in some way.

There is no one “right” answer

I think there are a lot of reasonable opinions about what is acceptable for people to let their dogs do.

I don’t think your dog needs to be perfectly at your side, completely uninterested in anything but you at all times. And I’m sure there are people who can make a really strong argument that their dog should be able to interact in any way that isn’t violent with something that gets within a few feet of them.

We err on the side of caution

Personally, I am still a little uncomfortable coming that close to an unknown dog, particularly when the person on the other end of the leash doesn’t seem to care that much about what it is doing. I also imagine that there is a large portion of the population that feels something similar to me.

My solution when I’m with Scout is to shorten the leash and move her to my other side when space is limited. This gives everyone enough room that none of us need to get anxious or worried that we have to get closer than we’d like.

Why is this my approach when I am so obviously a dog whisperer and Scout is impeccable and never makes a mistake?

Again, even though I know that Scout is well behaved and won’t try to say hi to someone, the person approaching me has no idea. If I don’t take any action, it might appear to them that she has enough room on the leash to get in their face and even touch/sniff/attack them if she so desires.

Politeness isn’t a big inconvenience for us — and it’s worth it to anyone who is scared!

Ultimately, I think it’s well worth it to take a few simple, thoughtful actions to alleviate any potential discomfort other people might be feeling. Scout, too, appreciates the extra space!

(And of course, it’s another opportunity to reinforce her calm, neutral behavior and show off our slick moves as heels beautifully next to me.)