Having fun: Learning to play with a dog

Guest post by Sean, former "not a dog person"

My favorite thing about Scout is her playfulness.

As much as Haley is into dog snuggles, nothing Scout does makes me smile more than when she comes out of nowhere and playfully pounces on me — or better yet, engages me in personal play.

Dogs like to play, right?

When Haley adopted Scout, I knew as much about dogs as a fish knows about riding a bicycle. The one thing I thought I knew was that dogs like to play.

You throw the ball, they chase after it, and they bring it back to you. Right?

I soon discovered that this was certainly not the case with Scout. While she got a respectful B+ at chasing after toys, she miserably failed at bringing them back, typically choosing to pin the tennis ball to the ground and tear all the fur off it. Or to shut down and not want to play at all because the environment was overwhelming.

Having fun together builds trust

Even with these varying opinions of the proper way to interact with fuzzy green balls, playing with Scout quickly built trust between us and helped us speedily become comfortable with each other.

It also made Haley frequently grumble about how Scout thinks I’m more fun and “likes me more”. Not a bad start to my first full-time dog.

We’re both learning how to play together

One of the first things I learned about play is that Scout and I both had to figure it out together. Just as much as I was learning for the first time how to play with a dog, Scout was learning how to play with me.

She had amazing instincts and drives for chasing toys and tugging right from the get go, but her technique left a lot to be desired for me. It was sometimes downright frustrating.

Don’t eat my hand, please

Instead of holding the opposite end of the tug toy, Scout decided the proper place to grab was right next to where Haley or I was holding it, which occasionally meant part of our hand ended up in her mouth.

We soon discovered that a good way to make Scout less confused about why the game didn’t work when she did this was to hold both ends of the tug rope and let her grab in the middle. Even now, this is my go-to method.

Go with the flow

I also learned that I had to be flexible about the rules of the game. Fetch would often turn into tug, with varying levels of success depending on the shape of the toy.

The best thing was to go with the flow.

Make adjustments and improvements

Other times, I had an opportunity to show Scout a more compatible way to play a game or think of adjustments so that we could both have our fun.

Haley and I quickly adopted two ball fetch to get Scout to drop her prized catch in anticipation of chasing the second ball. Conveniently, the other toy we held in our hand was almost always more interesting than the one she had just chased down, which she would then politely drop at our feet.

She’s since learned the “drop” command, so this isn’t really necessary — but it can still make the game more fast-paced and fun!

We move on from “mistakes”

There have been plenty of times that I have messed up a play session with Scout.

Sometimes I bring too much energy when she isn’t that into it yet, and Scout hits me with a “chill, bro”.

Other times, I mix in too many training words or ask for one too many down stays, and Scout’s drive suddenly disappears. One a bad day, it feels like I let her down.

To stop feeling bad about it, I remind myself that Scout messes up our play sessions, too. There have been plenty of times that she has scratched me with tooth or claw — or she’ll run away with the toy to her bed or tear at the stuffing for a while, and then look at me like “why did we stop playing?” (Who didn’t teach Scout to share?)

The most important thing for me to remember is to just go for it and be persistent. Mistakes on both ends are normal, so I just act like they are expected and nothing weird happened — and Scout agrees.

We play right through them.

I work to match Scout’s energy

The best way I have learned to play better with Scout is to pay attention to her energy and focus.

It’s impossible to get Scout truly into play if her focus isn’t totally on me. If there is some sort of other interest — especially food — she will often flat out ignore the toys she other times loses her head over. Trying to start a game with her will then just lead to frustration.

In the same way that her focus has to be on me, her mood needs to be right for the game, too. Depending on her energy level, Scout will want to engage in different types of play. I find it works best if I try to match her energy.

Take time to warm up

She often needs a bit of a warm up period when we first start playing. Instead of shocking her by trying to compensate with really high energy, I steadily amp up the intensity, starting from her level. It’s really cool when I can tell that she is getting more into it with me, and we can play a more intense game!

Through steadily shaping her energy and drive, I can usually get her to switch between different games.

My favorite game: personal play

My favorite mood of Scout’s is when her energy is wild and unpredictable, which leads to fast-paced personal play.

Without using any toys, Scout and I will chase each other around, physically jumping and nipping (at least one of us), all the while growling to our heart’s content (definitely both of us).

We had to get comfortable with each other

I wasn’t always so thrilled when this cattle-dog-herding instinct came out. In fact, I used to be a bit bothered and even uncomfortable when Scout would start jumping and snapping at the air near my arms or heels.

I’m clearly not a cow dummy, you haven’t heard me “moo” a single time.

Even though I logically knew it, It took awhile for me to fully trust that she had zero intention of biting me.

But after knowing me for over a year? She has gotten much better at distinguishing me from bovine creatures. And I know she’d never try to hurt me.

Trust moves us forward

Building personal play with Scout has taken lots of trust. The first session only lasted for a short while, but as time goes on, Scout is more likely to jump into it with me.

I wish she would do it even more — although it can be really intense.

Scout does an excellent job of self-regulating the intensity, and when things get too fervent, she wants to channel that energy into a toy. After a particularly extreme burst of grabbing my hand in her mouth and loudly vocalizing, she will disengage and run over to stand in front of the toy closet.

As soon as I pull one out, she attacks it — and a high-energy game of tug generally follows.

Our energy ebbs and flows

I now know Scout well enough where I can see a clear shift when she first enters her more intense herding drive and engages in personal play, as well as when she shifts down a gear and chooses tug. 

On the other end of her nature, a game of tug or fetch can quickly lose its energy and turn into a snuggle session. All of a sudden Scout will cutely flop over in front of me and present her belly for a rub.

This used to happen more when Haley first owned Scout — since then, we have worked on creating higher engagement and helping her choose play as one of her favorite activities.

We have to make ourselves interesting

One of the most basic ways we try to pique Scout’s interest is by making ourselves more interesting.

Having high energy body language and an enthusiastic voice when calling to Scout has helped a lot! It immediately tells her that we are about to have some fun.

Imitation isn’t just for flattery

The absolute biggest key that I have found in maximizing and holding Scout’s interest, as mentioned before, is playing off of Scout, especially by mimicking her behavior.

Scout seems very sensitive to being comfortable and able to predict behavior. Imitating her moves and doing things that she naturally does seems to help with this a lot.

Tug is classic for a reason

Through engaging with her over time, I have discovered that she naturally tends towards a “take turns” style of play. Tug especially can have a back and forth, where she will tug hard for a few seconds and then let up, letting me tug back.

Obviously the game of tug-of-war between us isn’t exactly a fair one, and it is no fun if I am always the one winning. When we tug, I will let her win some ground and “pull” me a few feet across the floor, and then when she lets up, I pull her right back across, claws digging into the carpet and all.

Rabbit versus wolf

By watching Haley’s parent’s dogs, I found another game that is natural for Scout. They would take turns, where one of them would take off running, the other would chase them down, and then they would switch.

Scout will play this game with me, and we’lll often run up and down a hallway, taking turns roleplaying the rabbit. I even try to mimic her body language, with some of the jerky body movements, the sudden freezes, and the looks that says “come get me”!

Training and fun both have a place

My final takeaway is that there is time for training with play, and then there is time for just having fun.

Sometimes trying to mix training into a play session totally kills Scout’s mood. Other times, it is a great opportunity to reinforce training with a high-value reward.

It’s special for me that I can often see a slight switch in her attention and behavior between play with training and just free for all play.

Sometimes bringing a little structure into the play can actually focus her energy and increase her excitement! I can activate the cattle dog drive by making her work for the toy, and we enter a sort of in-between play and training mode. Then, she usually gives me way better focus and eye contact than haphazard play.

I think it helps give her a very clear picture of what I want and what her job is at the moment.

We keep growing and having fun

As time goes on, Scout and I get better at playing together.